Die invloed van verwerping op 'n individu se Godsbeskouing : 'n pastorale verkenning

Abstract

Verwerping – daardie liefdelose verskynsel dat mense ander verstoot – is nie iets nuuts nie. Die meeste mense kan in mindere of meerdere mate iewers in hulle leeftyd verwerping ervaar. Hierdie belewing is selfs nie ongekend tussen Christengelowiges nie. Ten spyte van die tweede gebod oor liefde vir ander soos ’n mens jouself in elk geval liefhet, bly verwerping ʼn tragiese werklikheid. Hierdie misdryf word tereg beskou as die algemeenste oorsaak van emosionele ontwrigting by mense. Iemand wat verwerping ervaar, se gedagtes en gevoelens word in so ʼn mate geraak dat daardie persoon se emosionele gedrag, verhouding met die self, met ander en uiteindelik ook met God, daaronder ly. Mense reageer emosioneel verskillend op hierdie liefdelose optrede van ander. Sommige word oorpresteerders, wat onrealistiese hoë eise aan hulleself en ander stel in hul poging om aanvaarding te verwerf. Ander stel eise en verwagtings aan God: hulle wil weet waarom die verwerping húlle oorkom; nog ander verwag dat God hulle uit daardie omstandighede moet red. ʼn Ander reaksie van emosioneel verwonde persone is ʼn oorsensitiwiteit of veeleisende manipulering waardeur hulle ander misbruik om hulleself gelukkig te hou. Die algemeenste reaksies op, of hantering van, verwerping is om die “siele-seer” agter voordoen-maskers te probeer wegsteek of emosionele pyn te onderdruk en mense op ʼn afstand te hou. Verworpenes vertrou ander moeilik. In hul verhouding met hulleself beleef mense wat onder verwerping gebuk gaan dit as erg verwarrend. Hierdie ervaring kan ʼn sterk invloed uitoefen op verworpe persone se bewuste omgewing, denke, beskouing van God, hulleself en ander asook van godsdiens. Die mees ingrypende gevolg is egter dat dit ʼn uiters negatiewe uitwerking kan hê op hoe so ʼn person oor God dink, of God beskou. Waarskynlik die ergste vorm van verwerping geskied deur diegene die naaste aan die individu, hulle eie mense (ouers, gesinslede, familie). Juis in daardie ruimte waar die persoon die beskerming, aanmoediging en omarming van geborgde liefde moes ervaar, word hulle hierdie ondersteuning ontneem. Wanneer mense van kleins af verwerp word, kan dit lewenslank ʼn invloed hê op hulle psigiese funksionering. Dit kan meebring dat hulle óf geen godsdiensbewussyn ontwikkel nie óf dat hulle die een of ander tyd vir God blameer en glo dat God hulle ook in die steek sal laat. Eindelik word ʼn verworpe persoon iemand wat ander, ook vir God, verwerp. Die empiriese ondersoek met mense wat verwerping ervaar het, het nagegaan op watter manier en in watter mate hierdie ervaring die respondente se beskouing van God beïnvloed (het). Die ondersoek het sonder uitsondering aan die lig gebring dat verwerping mense se Godsbeskouing nadelig raak. In gevalle waar mense tydens of vanaf die vroeë kinderjare verwerping beleef het, het ʼn beskouing van God gevorm wat strydig met die Woord se openbaring is, met ander woorde, ontoepaslik. Daarteenoor is mense wat in ʼn geborge gesinsomgewing gekoester is en later in hul lewe deur die trauma van verwerping moes gaan, se Godsbeskouing wel beïnvloed, maar dit het nie tot vervreemding van God gelei nie. Die huidige studie is vanuit ʼn pastorale paradigma benader. Gevolglik was die navorsing ook daarop ingestel om perspektiewe uit die Skrif aan te dui en toe te pas waardeur verworpe persone tot ʼn Bybelse beskouing van God begelei kan word. Die feit dat die mens na die beeld van God geskep is, is ʼn kragtige waarheid om mense hul unieke identiteit te laat insien. Aangesien God die mens eerste liefgehad het, en hierdie liefde onvoorwaardelik is, kan individue deur ʼn herstelde verhouding met God hierdie pyn van verwerping oorwin. Só ʼn herstelde verhouding gee mense helderder begrip vir die ruimheid van God se liefde en goedheid (Ef 3:17-18). Rejection, a loveless phenomenon of people spurning others, is nothing new. Most people may experience rejection to some degree in their lifetime. This experience is also not unfamiliar amongst Christian believers. Despite the second commandment demanding love for others as one normally loves oneself, rejection remains a tragic reality. This misconduct is rightly considered as one of the most common causes of emotional disruption. When people experience rejection, their thoughts and emotions are impacted to such an extent that these individuals’ behaviour, relationship with themselves and others, and ultimately, with God, suffer. Emotionally, people respond differently to a loveless behaviour by others. Some become overachievers: setting unrealistic goals for themselves and for others in their attempt to gain acceptance. Some will make demands and expectations to God: they want to understand why they are being rejected; others expect God to deliver them from their situation. Another reaction to rejection is hyper-sensitivity and an imposing manipulation by misusing others to keep themselves content. The most common response in dealing with rejection is trying to conceal their inner hurt by pretending all is well, repressing emotional pain and shutting people out. Rejected people find it hard to trust others. In their relationship with themselves, people suffering rejection, experience it as highly confusing. This experience may impact a person’s conscious environment, thoughts, perceptions of God, of themselves and others, as well as religion. The most far-reaching outcome is possibly an utterly negative impact on the way the rejected person thinks about God, or views God. The worst form of rejection probably occurs from the people closest to the individual (parents, family members, relatives). The sphere in which everybody actually should feel protected, experience encouragement, and enjoy the embrace of secure love, they are deprived of this support. When people are rejected from an early age, it can have a life-long impact on their psychological functioning. This may hamper them from either developing a religious consciousness, or in time cause them to blame God and expect that God will also leave them in the lurch. Eventually, a rejected person turns into someone who rejects others, even God. Empirical research involving people who suffered rejection, examined in what manner and to which extent the rejection influence(d) respondents’ view of God. Without exception, the investigation showed that rejection negatively impacts a person’s view of God. In cases where people suffered rejection at or from an early age, they formed an understanding of God that conflicts with the Biblical revelation (i.e., inappropriate view). Conversely, people who were nurtured in a secure family environment and had to suffer the trauma of rejection at a later stage in life, found their view of God was influenced, but it did not lead to alienation from God. The present study was approached from a pastoral paradigm. Therefore, the aim of the research was to indicate and apply Biblical viewpoints to guide rejected persons to embrace the Biblical view of God. The biblical truth that humans were created in God’s image, is a powerful means helping people realise their unique identity. The fact that God loved human beings first, and this love was unconditional, can restore individuals to a relationship with God that overcomes the hurt of rejection. Such a restored relationship promotes clearer understanding of the limitlessness of God’s love and of His goodness (Eph. 3:17-18)